So sorry to hear of your loss. I suffered 2 miscarriages, and that was bad enough. Yes, depression has been my constant companion for decades. I just do the best I can.I too lost a child at 2 years. I carried on as you have to with 2 other children a new baby and a 4 year old. Eventually things caught up with me and went into depression. Husband was at a loss at how to hope with me, children, job and keeping it all together. We lived away from family and I was no help. Slowly I started to take notice, just a little at at a time. Our home was a dirty tip but I read somewhere to keep it slow but steady. I cleaned one work surface in the kitchen, next day I worked on another area then slowly I got control of the house looking after the children and my life came back together.
I feel for anyone who has had depression. People don't understand if they have not had to experience it.
I go with the flow these days. As long as I don't hurt anyone else I do what I want when I want.
Keeping my rescue chickens and adding a couple more gives me so much pleasure. Life can change so much by doing little things that we like to do or enjoy.