Do you have a really large family?

[PotterWatch]

Quote:
As a homeschooler, you know where I stand on this, lol. However, I have to say that I have met around 150 different homeschooling families from my area (within 15 miles) and perhaps 2 of those families fit the profile of "homeschooling to protect" in the way you mean. I do homeschool to protect my children from many of the bad influences they would face in public school, but it in no way means they don't know those influences exist (not the only reason I homeschool). I think homeschool families who keep their children in the dark about the realities of life are much fewer and further between than most people think. Sounds to me that the reason this family chose to homeschool is not to protect, but to control. Big difference.

 

[lengel]

Quote:
As a homeschooler, you know where I stand on this, lol. However, I have to say that I have met around 150 different homeschooling families from my area (within 15 miles) and perhaps 2 of those families fit the profile of "homeschooling to protect" in the way you mean. I do homeschool to protect my children from many of the bad influences they would face in public school, but it in no way means they don't know those influences exist (not the only reason I homeschool). I think homeschool families who keep their children in the dark about the realities of life are much fewer and further between than most people think. Sounds to me that the reason this family chose to homeschool is not to protect, but to control. Big difference.

I have to say that this has nothing to do with homeschooling. One could just as easily argue that going to public school is traumatic as that homeschooling is insulating. I mentioned it only because I was trying to describe their lifestyle and homeschooling is part of it.

 

[PotterWatch]

I understood that lengle. I didn't think you were saying anything bad about homeschooling and it is definitley an important part of your brother's family history.

 

[Beekissed]

I homeschooled some years, as well, but it had nothing to do with controlling my kids. Rather it had to do with controlling the quality of education at the time. Our school system at the time was woefully inadequate for my children's intellect and individual preferences for teaching methods. I chose a Christian-based curriculum when they were young, as I am a Christian and it was a good curriculum.

I agree, though, that some families homeschool for religious reasons, hoping to control their kid's environment and social interaction. If done properly this can be achieved with no detrimental side effects to the child. So often it is not done properly and one finds these children brilliant, but socially immature individuals, who never really understand the subtle nuances of social life in the real world. They seem unable to decipher the signals that are normally learned in large groups of children during play and interaction. Some people manage to adapt, others create their own little world of family and friends, and isolate from the world as much as they can to avoid the harshness of the "outside".

Not necessarily bad for them, but it makes it very hard for them to function if that safety net should fail in any way. Divorce, loss of income, any need to relocate to a new area...all of these can cause amazing trauma to one who has never learned the harder aspects of life, never witnessed how other children, or people, react to the same stressors, or adapt to a new situation.

 

[deb1]

The family depicted in the original post makes me sad for their kids. Are any of the adult children married?

I homeschool and I have come across some families(thankfully not many) who seem inclined to isolate themselves from the world. Normally these people seem to have an EXTREME fundamentalist bent. They seem to think that the entire world is bad.

One of the reasons that I homeschool is so that my kids can be independent thinkers. But my kids all have friends outside of their home who don't always agree with our faith. They meet a variety of people.

Part of being a parent is to teach your kids to stand on their own two feet and move away from you emotionally. Yeah, its tough for the parents but people feel better about themselves when they can be independent.

I just don't understand how a parent who really loves their child doesn't want that child to be a real adult.

In fairness, I should point out that I have known public schooled families who have odd, controlling relationships with their kids. My mom was one of those super controlling women and I went to public school. She managed to isolate me from my peers and teachers didn't notice the abuse. Mental and verbal abuse, for some reason, isn't seen as serious a problem as it should be.

 

[HSmamma]

Hi-Fairly new to the group but saw the post on homeschooling. I would have to agree that the original posting about the family has nothing to do with homeschooling. As a parent of a special needs child and two more kids without needs, kids will develop their own personality. My oldest, almost 12 is and has been socially "inept" (sorry can't find another word). He cannot read cues from others. Our public school could not help him despite the fact that he has an above average intelligence yet is unable to function in a public school setting. He is thriving in homeschool as are my other two children.
There are many who homeschool for various reasons. Large families tend to be very close knit and these kids may just not know how to be without their family. I grew up in a family of 8. My parents were not controlling, some went to college, some didn't, some left home by age 18, some by age 23. Some came back. There wasn't anything odd about it . It was just our family and it was life. Everyone eventually found their wings.
hsmamma

 

[Hangin Wit My Peeps]

I feel the same way about my sister. Her dauthers quit school (they were "homeschooled") NOT...at the age of 12 and they have had NO schooling once so ever. I turned them into social services who in turn told me they couldn't do anything since they were so called home schooled. Now if something happens to my sister I have NO clue what they will do.

 

[Stumpy]

I guess you could consider it easy for me to say, since I don't have children, but I have always thought "raising" children included teaching them to be independent, not just taking care of them and serving them. I know a single mother who seems to think it is her duty to do everything for her daughter. I was amazed at how this child could not so much as spread mayonaise on a piece of bread.

The parents are a large part of the problem here. Those children have been taught to be dependent. I had my first apartment right after I turned 18 and moved out eagerly.

 

[BettyR]

I home schooled all 4 of my kids…my oldest daughter is a CPA and works for a gas storage company in Houston. My son the middle child is a marine and the two youngest the twins are still in college.

The twins live with my oldest daughter and her husband in Crosby to be closer to school. Kristine’s (one of the twins) husband is due to be home for good the middle of September...he is a marine who has just returned from Iraq but he is still in California right now. They will get their own place when he gets back.

Home schooled kids are not normally shut ins like you are describing these kids to be. Home schooled does not equal isolated unless that is how you want it to be.

I home schooled my children because I wanted my children to be taught morals. When I was in school we were taught morals and the difference between right and wrong. The schools are not allowed to teach morals anymore and I didn't want my children to spend that much time in an institution where young children are learning their morals from each other.

We lived in a very rural area and there were no Christian schools available to us so home school was the next best thing.

 

[sianara]

-