The NFC B-Day Chat Thread

[Teila]

Blooie “Incredible”; I agree! That was a well written, well delivered, respectful, thought producing, touching and emotional speech.

 

[ShrekDawg]

I know it's probably hard to tell from the post but I didn't say it in a rude way or explode. All I did was bite into it and say this is really red I'm going to cook it more and he freaked out. Idk, maybe I could have used a little better tone or wording but I don't think I said it rudely, idk. And I only threw things AFTER I went to my room. Which, yes, I shouldn't have stormed off, not saying that was right either, but I was upset and didn't know what to do.

And the fights over but it was like 15 or 20 minutes.

Also I'm pretty sure that's definitely not the reason. I do appreciate what he cooks and usually I eat it but they also really don't cook much anymore so I eat out or eat junk. Ans my mom does a lot of the cooking when they do cook. But when he does cook, I usually do eat it and eat all of it.

But whenever he cooks burgers or steak or anything like that, he way undercooks it despite knowing we hate it that way and always have.

And sometimes with eggs he loads it with pepper in the pan while cooking.

Those are literally the only two times I ever complain about anything he makes. And only because raw hamburger is a safety issue and too much pepper makes me cough.

And I always say it nicely.

Yes I shouldn't have stormed off but I really don't think it's my fault...

He already apologized, he was tired (got up very early), hungry, and also stressed about some loan or something, idk, so not my fault. Stressed about other stuff and instead of talking, took it out on us. He does that with other stuff too.

And I don't think I'm headstrong at all but idk. I mean, I do sometimes overreact about stuff, which I don't need to, but besides that I'm really quiet. I don't even watch videos or play my music in front of anyone, don't drink or go to parties or smoke or do anything bad.

And I mean I will be the first one to admit I can have a little bit of a temper sometimes but ONLY when someone is rude to me first. And yes it is actually rude stuff, not just me overreacting and thinking it's rude.

But my mom does too.

And in fact, I think sometimes because I can be similar to her and they hate each other, he treats me like that sometimes.

And she is also an alcoholic, though she's been pretty good lately, so they've hated each other for years and years and are always hostile whether I start something or not so I really don't think this is my fault.....

Though, yes, I could have handled it better, I admit that, but living here is stressful and yeah sometimes I overreact or don't know how to handle it and freak out. I shouldn't but I do. It's not to be defiant or a brat or anything. I don't even do it on purpose.

Though I suppose I could work on stopping, breathing, and thinking before freaking out.

But I'm pretty sure I'm not the reason they hate each other or the reason she drinks or anything.

Although I have told myself that

 

[Blooie]

Stopping, breathing and thinking before freaking out sounds like a very good, adult start to me!

 

[ShrekDawg]

Stopping, breathing and thinking before freaking out sounds like a very good, adult start to me!

Yes, I definitely need to do that but it can be very hard sometimes because sometimes they make me really mad. I need to not freak out though cause I don't think that helps anything.

I'm also thinking of finding a therapist or something but I'm not sure if I want to or truly need to. But I do think part of the freaking out is because I don't talk about anything and keep everything bottled up, so like for example, listening to them constantly fight is stressful and I just absorb that stress, then snap. Not that that's an excuse or good reason but I think that's part of it.

But I'm also going to be walking Libby 3 days a week now so maybe the walking will help me. I don't exercise at all as of now ha

And I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get so defensive either

 

[Blooie]

You're still young, and still learning, Kelsey. I always told my kids that I didn't care if they made mistakes....what I cared about was what they learned from those mistakes. Adults don't always behave in a way that makes kids comfortable, I darn sure get that. You have the potential to be a very good writer, so use that talent to keep a journal or something to put that emotion on paper and get it out of your head. Reminds me of the story of how my stepdad, who later became my adoptive dad, took a gangly little nobody with a horrible stutter and helped her become more confident and poised simply by reminding her that sometimes it's not what she wrote, but how she wrote it that set the tone.

And also using that writing skill, simply wording your posts in such a way that it doesn't appear as though you're expecting us to "take sides", but still venting when you need to, is a tough balance to find. We all rant on here from time to time. We have to, and this is a safe place to do that. But we also don't want anyone to feel like they have to take sides to humor us...and we have to be big enough to say, "Yep, I didn't see it that way. Thanks." No harm no foul here.

 

[Blooie]

Just learned earlier today that Tank the Wonder Chicken, was taken by a fox while free ranging in her new home. She was so special!

 

[ShrekDawg]

You're still young, and still learning, Kelsey. I always told my kids that I didn't care if they made mistakes....what I cared about was what they learned from those mistakes. Adults don't always behave in a way that makes kids comfortable, I darn sure get that. You have the potential to be a very good writer, so use that talent to keep a journal or something to put that emotion on paper and get it out of your head. Reminds me of the story of how my stepdad, who later became my adoptive dad, took a gangly little nobody with a horrible stutter and helped her become more confident and poised simply by reminding her that sometimes it's not what she wrote, but how she wrote it that set the tone.

And also using that writing skill, simply wording your posts in such a way that it doesn't appear as though you're expecting us to "take sides", but still venting when you need to, is a tough balance to find. We all rant on here from time to time. We have to, and this is a safe place to do that. But we also don't want anyone to feel like they have to take sides to humor us...and we have to be big enough to say, "Yep, I didn't see it that way. Thanks." No harm no foul here.

Thank you Blooie, I appreciate that. I love writing (unless it's for an essay ha) but I don't do it anymore because I'm on my phone too much. I think even just getting off my phone would help me too. I sometimes wrote stories or even songs but I haven't done either in a while. I don't write many songs anymore because I can't sing or play an instrument so it's pointless. But I used to write them all the time. I also did used to have a journal but then I stopped. I'm not really sure why. Too much work maybe. I found some old ones though recently and they're so negative and sometimes mean I kind of want to burn them. I mean, no one has seen them except me, and I kind of want to reread them but I feel like that is just a terrible terrible idea because I was in a really bad place when I wrote them. Thinking I might just never read those again.

But starting a new one is a good idea.

I actually had this idea a while ago to start writing down positive things that happened, which I thought was good because often I can be too negative, but I only got to like 3 days haha

Anyway, you have a good point. I need to be better about wording stuff better.

And oddly in essays and stuff, I take more time and usually get good grades on them but online I tend to just jump around more and also type more like reactionary if that makes any sense.

I really shouldn't do that and should probably take the same time to type here as I do essays.

Although often when I read other people's writing, like yours as well as certain music bloggers, then I usually think I'm nowhere near as good as that. I do it with other stuff too. But even so, some people are just great at certain things.

Anyway, getting off topic now, but I do need to work on my wording on posts but I also think that no matter how something is worded, it is just impossible to really know the full situation or what someone or something is really like, what really happened, etc., when anyone says anything. And it's hard to tell tone. That's why the Internet is so difficult.

 

[ShrekDawg]

Just learned earlier today that Tank the Wonder Chicken, was taken by a fox while free ranging in her new home. She was so special!

Aw I'm sorry to hear that :/

Is that the Brahma?

 

[JaeG]

I know it's probably hard to tell from the post but I didn't say it in a rude way or explode. All I did was bite into it and say this is really red I'm going to cook it more and he freaked out. Idk, maybe I could have used a little better tone or wording but I don't think I said it rudely, idk. And I only threw things AFTER I went to my room. Which, yes, I shouldn't have stormed off, not saying that was right either, but I was upset and didn't know what to do.

And the fights over but it was like 15 or 20 minutes.

Also I'm pretty sure that's definitely not the reason. I do appreciate what he cooks and usually I eat it but they also really don't cook much anymore so I eat out or eat junk. Ans my mom does a lot of the cooking when they do cook. But when he does cook, I usually do eat it and eat all of it.

But whenever he cooks burgers or steak or anything like that, he way undercooks it despite knowing we hate it that way and always have.

And sometimes with eggs he loads it with pepper in the pan while cooking.

Those are literally the only two times I ever complain about anything he makes. And only because raw hamburger is a safety issue and too much pepper makes me cough.

And I always say it nicely.

Yes I shouldn't have stormed off but I really don't think it's my fault...

He already apologized, he was tired (got up very early), hungry, and also stressed about some loan or something, idk, so not my fault. Stressed about other stuff and instead of talking, took it out on us. He does that with other stuff too.

And I don't think I'm headstrong at all but idk. I mean, I do sometimes overreact about stuff, which I don't need to, but besides that I'm really quiet. I don't even watch videos or play my music in front of anyone, don't drink or go to parties or smoke or do anything bad.

And I mean I will be the first one to admit I can have a little bit of a temper sometimes but ONLY when someone is rude to me first. And yes it is actually rude stuff, not just me overreacting and thinking it's rude.

But my mom does too.

And in fact, I think sometimes because I can be similar to her and they hate each other, he treats me like that sometimes.

And she is also an alcoholic, though she's been pretty good lately, so they've hated each other for years and years and are always hostile whether I start something or not so I really don't think this is my fault.....

Though, yes, I could have handled it better, I admit that, but living here is stressful and yeah sometimes I overreact or don't know how to handle it and freak out. I shouldn't but I do. It's not to be defiant or a brat or anything. I don't even do it on purpose.

Though I suppose I could work on stopping, breathing, and thinking before freaking out.

But I'm pretty sure I'm not the reason they hate each other or the reason she drinks or anything.

Although I have told myself that

Sounds like you are dealing with a lot there so . It does take a long time to view your parents as real, imperfect people who make mistakes and are very different to you, and that's ok, and that you can step back (maybe not in the heat of the moment) and forgive them for their shortcomings. And a lot easier once you've moved out and have your own life. The fact that your Dad apologised does say something (that's more than I've ever got from my father just quietly).

Just learned earlier today that Tank the Wonder Chicken, was taken by a fox while free ranging in her new home. She was so special!

Oh, I'm sorry! Why is it always your favourites that go first?!

 

[ShrekDawg]

Sounds like you are dealing with a lot there so . It does take a long time to view your parents as real, imperfect people who make mistakes and are very different to you, and that's ok, and that you can step back (maybe not in the heat of the moment) and forgive them for their shortcomings. And a lot easier once you've moved out and have your own life. The fact that your Dad apologised does say something (that's more than I've ever got from my father just quietly).



Oh, I'm sorry! Why is it always your favourites that go first?!

Thank you!! Yeah, it's hard because when my mom's not drinking she's really great and we're pretty close but then when she does she's annoying or worse so it's like I don't want to forgive her but I do. My brothers I don't think have and kinda hate her. Well, hate's a strong word. My little brother is still nice mostly but my older one is more like my dad and thinks she's like this loser and it pisses me off. Granted, she also has a lot of junk all over the house and no job but it just annoys me cause she's a good person and tries hard so why are you such a jerk. I mean, he's never really a jerk to her (well, sometimes he is) but they'll say stuff about her. Him and my dad are weirdly close.

Anyway, I definitely need to move out. I think I'd be way better off haha

And sometimes he doesn't but tonight he did

But I'm sorry to you too