The NFC B-Day Chat Thread

[N F C]

 

[Blooie]

I guess what goes up must come down. I just got a private message on FB that threw me for such a loop and if I don't vent I'll explode! A message popped up from a cousin of mine. Now, you might remember that the man who raised me was my stepdad, and he later adopted me and Linda when we were adults. He had one sister (who would be my aunt) that always seemed so stuffy. My sister Linda said one time that it wasn't my imagination either. She'd overheard this aunt telling my beloved Uncle Lloyd (Dad's other sister's husband) at a family gathering that Dad had married beneath him, and was saddled with two girls before he even settled into being married. Uncle Lloyd shut her up right quick, telling her that Dad was smart enough to recognize a blessing when he saw it.

So anyway, this catty aunt raised 4 kids who also had superiority complexes. We never hung around with them much at gatherings, preferring the cousins who didn't mind getting their clothes dirty and climbing apple trees, so I've just sort of forgotten about them through the years. So a few minutes ago I got this message from this cousin I haven't seen since I was 16:

"Diane, I am your cousin Deborah __________________. I see its your're birthday. Happy birthday. Kathy (a favorite cousin of mine - Lloyd's daughter) said she has been friends with you and helped me find you. They spend the night here on their way back to Rapid City and she pulled up your page after breakfast when we were talking about the family. Have been reading your wall off and on for a couplehours before they left. It looks like you have quiet a family. I was a little suprised at how many friends you have too because you never liked people before. You don't look the same you did when we were kids. I read you are a writer. Did you ever quit stuttering because your defect made it hard to want to do stuff with you when we were little. I'm sorry you have a grandchild who is also defective. Anyway, it looks like you did alright anyway with all your problems. I'm going to send you a friend request so we can catch up."

Now how the he!! was I supposed to take that??? I am so mad I can't see straight! I'm afraid I'm even madder about my response because it was so out of character for me. But I made it short and sweet.

"Hello Deborah. I may have changed, but sadly it seems like you haven't. All of the friends and family you have seen on my FB page love me, defects and all. So I guess at this point all I can say is that I've obviously done just fine without you for the past 50 years and I'm sure I'll continue to thrive if we keep it that way. Sorry, but there's just no room in my world for negativity."

And of course, now as usual I'm second guessing myself. Maybe she didn't mean as mean as it came out....maybe she's ill and trying to make amends....maybe she's just curious? Whatever the reason, I have managed to let her burst the little joy bubble I had built the past week and I'm furious that I let her do that - again! Grrrrr And I'm sure Kathy meant well...we have been cousin/buddies since we were 5 years old and she's an incredible friend. But grrrrrr!!

 

[N F C]

Blooie, where can I find this person? I'd like to punch them. How rude and just plain mean!

I like your response and think you handled it much better than I would have.

P.S. Apparently her grammar, spelling and punctuation are defective...so there, HAH!

 

[Pork Pie]

So sorry, Blooie - what a sorry human being she is. I thought we left malice behind at kindergarten. The world is a funny place, but thats downright warped. Make sure you block her from your FB. You know who and what you are and so do those that count - no room for such people in your world (or anyone elses, by the sound of things).

 

[Yorkshire Coop]

Don't second guess yourself Blooie! Your reply was great and to the point and nothing more than she deserved. Folk like her are not worth wasting your energy on

 

[Blooie]

Well, my page is private and she did say she was reading it while Kathy was there, so I'm assuming Kathy called up my page so she could see and then Dear Cousin kept reading. That's how it sounded, anyway. You know what infuriates me? For just a few minutes while reading her message, I was 10 years old again and hearing her say, "Diane, say the Gettysburg address!" and "Hey, Bugs, that's all folks." Why don't kids realize that sometimes things stay with people for a long time afterwards? My life is amazing. My dad was totally, 100% responsible for what I enjoy today and I am so grateful to him for accepting and loving me enough to want me to be happy with myself. It just takes one bit of cruelty to chip away at that. I thought that was all behind me and I'd outgrown the hurt and insecurity, and it just took one thoughtless message to bring it all back.

Well, I said what I said to her and I'm not going to relent here. I got by just fine without her and I don't need her now. Besides, now I have a whole group of friends just as defective as I am, and I wouldn't change a thing!

 

[Pork Pie]

We could waste some energy on her Yorkshire style, Kim?

 

[Blooie]

Well, she might have been alright until she called Kendra "defective." Then the gloves came off!

 

[BantyChooks]

Blooie-

 

[duluthralphie]

Blooie I think we found a person that needs a Blanket party!

I know, I always resort to violence when poison would work fine, It is one of my defects.