Congratulations on your BYC Friend badge @ManueB It's well deserved!
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Wonderfully put as always.
I still grieve for my Roadrunners, for Bella Dracula, and for Lulu. My phone reminds me of them all the time by randomly showing me their pictures. In a way I like that as it keeps them front of mind.
I have also come to terms with the mystery of their deaths so close together, though I still partly expect to wake up each morning and find another one gone.
Chickens seem to die more readily than many other creatures which makes getting close to them an emotionally hazardous journey, though also very rewarding.
For both of us
Thank you both for sharing this and being so kind. It has been really helpful for me to read how others deal with this. It certainly is a challenge to keep chickens !I haven't yet forgiven myself for failing to protect my first three hens from Mr and Mrs Fox. The hens were called Dora, Alice and Nigella. But it helps that the new hens have been safe from foxes for four years now.
There's a lot to learn when you start keeping chickens and it's similar to swimming in that you can't always gain a clear sense of what a chicken's health problem looks like from reading about it. You need practical experience in order to know what sickness looks in your own hens, especially when it's something subtle (like Mary's hernia).
For this reason, new chicken keepers need a lot of kindness and support from the old hands. And we should forgive our early mistakes, even though it's hard to.
Well, I don't know what it says about me that I get a friend medal on BYC but haven't been able to keep touch with any of my few friends in real life .Congratulations on your BYC Friend badge @ManueB It's well deserved!
Such lovely photos!A beautiful Sunday today with temperature rising to 10/50 in the morning and 23/73 during the day.
Three of the four ex-batts had laid by eight thirty, and Cannelle then went in the same nest. An hour later, I found all three eggs thrown out on the floor (none broken) and a soft shell broken egg in the nest. She's coming back to laying - hopefully it will work better next time. Did she know she was going to lay a no she'll egg , or did she just thrashed around a lot to get all three eggs out of the nest ? Anyway she was doing good today and so was Chipie.
The chickens enjoyed the sunny day. Gastounet proved once again that he is not the bravest of roosters, getting in a panic run around after a bee flew close to him .
In the evening there were a lot of very small insects flying around and the chickens went crazy running after them. A sparrowhawk took his chance and landed just at that time, but I was warned by Théo and scared him away. Théo may be a pain in our butt but he's doing good on keeping watch and now all the chickens heed his growling alert calls.
Chickens are now coming out of the coop at 7.20, and going to roost around the same time pm.
Nice rising sun.
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Cannelle
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View attachment 3278421Merle is so pretty and confident.
View attachment 3278424View attachment 3278428View attachment 3278431He's still very ridiculous without any wing feathers and with his molting head but he is such a sweet funny guy.View attachment 3278432View attachment 3278434Piou-piou was grooming Gastounet's molting feathers .View attachment 3278436
Very well said.Feelings on my first chicken's deaths.
Two nights ago I woke up and realized I had come to peace with Vanille's and Caramel's death. It took me two months, you could say that is short or long depending on how you look at it.
I don't have a heart pang everytime I count four ex-batts instead of six anymore.
I don't start crying when I wake up at night and think that they are dead.
I have been wanting to run again. Running has been a big part of my life for the last ten years and not wanting to run was a first for me.
I think I found it so hard because chickens are my daily companion in my solitary life here (apart from my partner who is rather extroverted ), because I experienced my first two chickens deaths a week apart, and because I felt responsible. There were some lessons to be learned. I hope to accept the next chicken's deaths more gracefully.
Caramel is the reason for starting this thread. I mentioned having forgotten health issues that were scattered on other threads. About a month ago, I checked an alert for someone that was going through one of my old post and had reacted by a sad face. It was a post about Caramel having laid internally at the beginning of June. I had completely forgotten about it.
If I had thought of this immediately when I first noticed that she started having trouble breathing, there is a very slight possibility that I would have been able to get her on antibiotics and saved her from EYP. It's rather unlikely for a number of reasons ; but it could happen that such an information makes a real difference for making a correct diagnosis, and I think keeping track of health problems is part of correct chicken keeping.
I believe that the way we are afraid of illness and death is a disease of our society. Everyone die eventually but chickens just do it much quicker than us. I don't mind grief, it's a normal process, but I don't want to be afraid of my chicken's deaths.
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Has Cannelle laid recently? Is she molting?Today was another beautiful and abnormally warm day, up to 27 /80 . Only 10 days without rain and it seems like the soil and the vegetation have dried up again . Everyone here is worried that we will get another winter without snow.
The chickens enjoy the weather but there is little left to forage inside the chicken zone. We try to bring the ex-batts green stuff daily from the vegetable garden. We have also been giving them the last melons and watermelons and they went crazy over those. The smaller chickens can help themselves.
Unfortunately Cannelle spent again time trying to lay without success today, i'm worried again. Other than that her behaviour seems normal though.
I spoke too soon saying molt was over - today there were feathers everywhere! Théo, Gaston and Chipie are looking rough. Chipie is very pale. I don't like the molting, even if it's not hard molt. I find it hard to know if they are just tired from the molt or if there is a problem.
In bad news we had for the first time someone come to clean the wood stove's chimney (we usually do it ourselves but it's required to have a professional for insurance). Of course he said the chimney wasn't up to standards, we need to break it to replace it with a tube. We looked at the cost and one meter of the insulated tube is 300 hundred euros . We'll do it at the end of next spring though, and try not to set the house on fire in the meantime, because we don't see ourselves breaking up the chimney and having to camp outside for several days now !
In better news we only have two sets left of shutters to install in the old barn, and we can start at last redoing the run for the chickens ! At least if there's not something else to cause yet another delay .
Evening vibes.View attachment 3280685View attachment 3280686View attachment 3280689View attachment 3280695View attachment 3280696View attachment 3280700Morning View attachment 3280709View attachment 3280710View attachment 3280711Gastounet has discovered that he's able to catch some olives if he tries hard enough.View attachment 3280712Chicken power games.View attachment 3280713
Thank you for warning me, because I have to admit I was indeed counting on the first being the worse.Very well said.
Do prepare yourself though.
There are different types of deaths and therefore different reactions to them. For example, Lilly's death was very different for me than Sylvie's. Don't assume you will react the same way every time. It's 10 months later and I still can't bring myself to look at photos of Sylvie. I look at photos of Lilly every day and smile.
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Cannelle has been molting for nearly a month now. It's not the first time she takes long breaks from laying not in winter, so I wasn't really worried. But I don't like that she spends a lot of time daily trying to lay. Today she went first at one of their outside nest for half an hour, then spent another hour in a nest inside the coop, and still she didn't lay. She's very flighty with me so I can't catch her but my partner did and felt her abdomen and he thought, but wasn't sure, that he could feel an egg. But other than that she's now quite active and looking better than she did a week ago.Has Cannelle laid recently? Is she molting?
I remember Wendy trying to lay for at least two days without success. She appeared fine otherwise. Then a few days later, she started molting.
I see why you are worried about Cannelle. I hope she succeeds very soon!Thank you for warning me, because I have to admit I was indeed counting on the first being the worse.
If I relate this to how I've coped with human losses, I think it's not just about grief. Some deaths feel terribly wrong. So wrong that it may not be possible to grieve because you feel so angry, or guilty, or it's just too much an abyss to face. Other deaths don't feel the same even for people you really love, and really miss, because they sort of seem to "fit" the deceased somehow.
Cannelle has been molting for nearly a month now. It's not the first time she takes long breaks from laying not in winter, so I wasn't really worried. But I don't like that she spends a lot of time daily trying to lay. Today she went first at one of their outside nest for half an hour, then spent another hour in a nest inside the coop, and still she didn't lay. She's very flighty with me so I can't catch her but my partner did and felt her abdomen and he thought, but wasn't sure, that he could feel an egg. But other than that she's now quite active and looking better than she did a week ago.
Tomorrow I'll try to give her some calcium, but they already have a lot from the fish meal.
Trying to lay outside while Théo stands guard.
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Then inside
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I used to think of losses as failures—I want to save them, and if I don’t, I’ve failed. I think experience has started teaching me that “saving” a living being is impossible—it always comes to an end. It’s not really saving so much as stewarding: we’re all just walking each other home, as long as we can, with all the love and watermelon and mealworms we have, knowing the walk will end so much sooner than we’d like, whenever it does.