Has anyone here felt guilty after euthanizing a chicken?

[cheepcheepnash]

We had five sweet chickens in a mixed breed flock. They are our first chickens are somewhat pet-like for us.

Today we put our sweetest one, a porcelain d'uccle, down. She is our first chicken who has died and I just feel awful and guilty for taking her to the vet for euthanasia. Has anyone else after felt this way after putting down a bird? Is this common in the grieving process?

For more context, our hen was normal yesterday and we didn't see her this morning. When we saw her at 11, she was paralyzed in one leg and we were instantly worried about Mareks. Over the course of a couple hours, she couldn't move either leg, was rolled over on one side, kept dropping her head to the ground, was puffed up even when she was warm inside in a dark room, and refused to eat even eggs. We gave her vitamins but it didn't help. The vet over the phone said there probably couldn't be much done for her and we didn't want to see her suffer, so we brought her in and she will get a necropsy done.

I'm sobbing from time to time wondering if maybe we could have done more for her. We are pretty sure it wasn't a vitamin deficiency, but I can't stop thinking that maybe it was botulism and she could have been okay. I keep thinking about all the things I could have done that might have helped her. Maybe I could have saved her.

Do you have any tips about how to stop blaming myself and stop wondering "what if?"

Thank you!

 

[Poultrybonkers]

Nope I never feel guilty as most of the time ones i put down need it ive put down birds that cant walk to as i cant risk the rest if its something contagious

 

[coach723]

Don't feel guilty. Things happen, many of them are beyond our control. She is not suffering and that is the most important thing. When you get the necropsy results you will get valuable information, no matter what the cause was. Having chickens is a learning curve, we all start somewhere and learn and get better as time goes on and we have more experiences. No matter what the cause was, you will learn something and that information will help you with other birds in the future. This is unfortunately part of chicken keeping and happens to all of us at some point. I still find the good parts to outweigh the sad parts. I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[TheOddOneOut]

 

[dawg53]

Guilty? No. Sad? Yes. For me, it seems it's always a favorite but time heals.
For the safety, health, and welfare of a flock it's a necessity to do what you have to do sometimes.
I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[Birdsong 82]

Yes. I have. Even your sure you did right thing and you know you shouldn’t feel guilty … it’s normal to. We all think the things maybe we could’ve done when we suffer a loss.( animal or human) You did what was right. Actually doing what’s right for you birds even when it kills you inside makes wonderful chicken owner

The what if will be healed by time. I still have random what if thoughts about animals I lost years ago. It’s just insuring your self it was right at that point
I’m sorry not just for your loss but the whole situation and tough decision you had to go through prior

 

[6BeachChicks]

That is a very very very sick hen. If you decided not to, she would be in pain, and suffering. You made the right choice, and in doing so, spared your other girls of a life threatening illness. I know you won’t believe me at first, but in a month the sadness and pain will be so much better. Chickens are wonderful little girls and guys, but they don’t have a big body to fight illnesses. I’m so so sorry you went through this, but I have hope that you understand what she want.

 

[cheepcheepnash]

That is a very very very sick hen. If you decided not to, she would be in pain, and suffering. You made the right choice, and in doing so, spared your other girls of a life threatening illness. I know you won’t believe me at first, but in a month the sadness and pain will be so much better. Chickens are wonderful little girls and guys, but they don’t have a big body to fight illnesses. I’m so so sorry you went through this, but I have hope that you understand what she want.

Thank you so much! It's such a relief to hear the opinions of other more experienced owners. I will keep trying to hold this in my mind and remind myself that we did the right thing. I keep thinking, maybe I could have given her a molasses flush or other things, but maybe that would have been too harsh on her or maybe she would have aspirated and suffered more.

 

[cheepcheepnash]

Yes. I have. Even your sure you did right thing and you know you shouldn’t feel guilty … it’s normal to. We all think the things maybe we could’ve done when we suffer a loss.( animal or human) You did what was right. Actually doing what’s right for you birds even when it kills you inside makes wonderful chicken owner

The what if will be healed by time. I still have random what if thoughts about animals I lost years ago. It’s just insuring your self it was right at that point
I’m sorry not just for your loss but the whole situation and tough decision you had to go through prior

Thank you so much! I look forward to the what if's stopping some!

 

[6BeachChicks]

Thank you so much! It's such a relief to hear the opinions of other more experienced owners. I will keep trying to hold this in my mind and remind myself that we did the right thing. I keep thinking, maybe I could have given her a molasses flush or other things, but maybe that would have been too harsh on her or maybe she would have aspirated and suffered more.

A molasses flush wouldn’t help, it sounds like she had mareks or another similar illness. She knew that she was in good hands, you took wonderful care of her.