Advice needed on family and dogs

[Ninjasquirrel]

This year will be our first xmas with our new dog, Duchess. Every year we go to my inlaws for breakfast to open gifts, then snack and enjoy each other's company until dinner. We eat dinner, watch a movie and then go home. It is literally an all day affair. There is one issue this year though: the dogs. My inlaws have a terrier mix that is dog aggressive. Duchess is dog aggressive as well in the sense that she is "socially awkward". She wants to be friends but if she reaches the end of her leash she then becomes aggressive. We haven't had the opportunity to train her out of this with "bullet proof" dogs and professional training is not in the budget. My inlaws have made NO effort to train it out of their dog and don't seem to care too much about it. They insist that "they can be friends" but everytime they have brought their dog over, Sassy (their dog) growls, barks and bites the air at Duchess. Obviously not a good training opportunity as it could lead to negative feelings towards other dogs.

With this background you can see why I need some advice. It wouldnt be fair to keep Duchess locked up all day. It also wouldnt be fair to expect that of their dog. It wouldnt be fair to have one dog outside all day in the back yard and one in the house. Plus we'd have to swap them to go potty. I'm not sure how to handle it other than saying we can not stay all day and just come back for dinner later. They dont live far away but it would be inconvenient. Any advice?

 

[sunrise.superman]

Can you do a "see don't touch" for the dogs like you'd do integrating new chickens? Maybe somewhere in the backyard? The other dog does sound like it has its own issues, but a lot of dogs overreact or act differently at the end of a leash than they do at liberty. A lot of info is telegraphed from handler to dog through a leash and much of it can be bad info, especially with handlers that aren't experienced in handling dogs. If they can hang out together without having to closely interact at first it may turn out better than expected in the end. This year's holiday gathering may be a jumping off point and go from there. Or attempt small doses of this leading up to the holiday gathering.

The other dog is on home turf, too so initial meetings are going to be a bit more anxious compared to getting acquainted on neutral territory.

In many years of showing and training dogs I've had a couple that had personal vendettas with each other and swapping them inside/outside and keeping separate was not that difficult, especially for one day.

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

Can you do a "see don't touch" for the dogs like you'd do integrating new chickens? Maybe somewhere in the backyard? The other dog does sound like it has its own issues, but a lot of dogs overreact or act differently at the end of a leash than they do at liberty. A lot of info is telegraphed from handler to dog through a leash and much of it can be bad info, especially with handlers that aren't experienced in handling dogs. If they can hang out together without having to closely interact at first it may turn out better than expected in the end. This year's holiday gathering may be a jumping off point and go from there. Or attempt small doses of this leading up to the holiday gathering.

The other dog is on home turf, too so initial meetings are going to be a bit more anxious compared to getting acquainted on neutral territory.

In many years of showing and training dogs I've had a couple that had personal vendettas with each other and swapping them inside/outside and keeping separate was not that difficult, especially for one day.

They have brought their dog over here but refuse to put her on a leash even at my request. When I have asked they simply just put her back in the car. It has become clear to me that they are not willing to help because they assume the best...even when I informed them that my 50+ pound dog could rip the throat out of their 15 pound dog. I have tried to be very nice about it but I'm just met with "oh, they can be friends!" instead of logic. I understand my dog very well and we have done the see don't touch with chickens and our cat. She is very good at listening to commands and is calm approaching other dogs but when she gets close it can be dangerous. We have worked on her leash etiquette to keep her from pulling towards another dog. I just want to train her with a calm dog outside the fence until she can be calm as well and then take the steps toward inside the fence. Either way my inlaws have refused to leash their dog. I'm sure it's not that they dont care...more just blind ignorance and stubbornness.

 

[FortCluck]

You need to have the dogs meet on non-territorial ground. If you are bringing your dog to their dog's house, your dog is going into their dog's territory. you have to have them be introduced outside of the house on neutral ground where none of the dogs have ever been.

I have done dog training and have had dogs for all my life (32 years). My dad has a lab that is dog aggressive, but if he meets another dog off of his territory and off of the other dog's territory it always goes perfectly.

maybe you guys can go to a dog park or somewhere that neither of the dogs have been and introduce them that way. I would also do it without leashes. Whenever a dog is on a leash it instantly makes them more aggressive. Leashes are very restrictive to a dog and the leash is property of the dog so at the end of their property (leash) they are going to get aggressive.

 

[Aunt Angus]

My dog is absolutely dog aggressive toward other female dogs. She doesn't mind boys. I've hired professional trainers and taken her to obedience/ socialization classes. I've been told she's hopeless because of earlier unknown trauma (she's a rescue we got as as an older dog). My mom has 6 dogs, only 2 of which my dog likes. If I go to mom's I leave her home. If mom visits, she only brings those 2 dogs with her. And our weather is kind enough that bringing one in and putting one out wouldn't be much of a problem.

Now, my mom lives here in town, so it's not a big deal. If either of us had to travel longer distances, I'd get someone to dog sit or find a doggie day care center.

 

[TwoShepherds]

Keep them seperate for the day, either one outside and one in, or in crates (with breaks), or in seperate rooms. They'll survive it's only for the day. Of course, if you'd rather not stay all day, the dog would be a good excuse to leave a little early.

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

You need to have the dogs meet on non-territorial ground. If you are bringing your dog to their dog's house, your dog is going into their dog's territory. you have to have them be introduced outside of the house on neutral ground where none of the dogs have ever been.

I have done dog training and have had dogs for all my life (32 years). My dad has a lab that is dog aggressive, but if he meets another dog off of his territory and off of the other dog's territory it always goes perfectly.

maybe you guys can go to a dog park or somewhere that neither of the dogs have been and introduce them that way. I would also do it without leashes. Whenever a dog is on a leash it instantly makes them more aggressive. Leashes are very restrictive to a dog and the leash is property of the dog so at the end of their property (leash) they are going to get aggressive.

Non-territorial ground could be a good idea...if I can get them to agree to it. This is the issue. They have no desire to train. They are just insisting things will be hunky dory. I have tried time and time again to instill in them that dogs that are not trained properly are a potential danger. They are far to stubborn to listen and just make excuses for their dog's bad behavior saying things like "we can't train her because she's dumb". As I said, I have requested that they leash their dog and they refuse.

 

[FortCluck]

Non-territorial ground could be a good idea...if I can get them to agree to it. This is the issue. They have no desire to train. They are just insisting things will be hunky dory. I have tried time and time again to instill in them that dogs that are not trained properly are a potential danger. They are far to stubborn to listen and just make excuses for their dog's bad behavior saying things like "we can't train her because she's dumb". As I said, I have requested that they leash their dog and they refuse.

Well it seems pretty useless to even try to work with them if they're going to act like that... I have never owned a dog in my life that is not trained, I don't allow a dog to think it's the alpha! It seems like they have let their dog run wild for way too long!

 

[Ninjasquirrel]

Keep them seperate for the day, either one outside and one in, or in crates (with breaks), or in seperate rooms. They'll survive it's only for the day. Of course, if you'd rather not stay all day, the dog would be a good excuse to leave a little early.

I had considered this. I never have enjoyed the all day affair but I have learned to deal with it because it makes my SO happy. I suppose we could drive separate and I can go hang out with her for a while and return for dinner so he can spend time with his family. I was just kinda hoping that maybe we could leash them both in the same room and they would eventually calm down?

 

[sourland]

I wouldn't put myself or the dogs through the anxiety. I'd leave my dog home and shorten the visit so that all could have a good day. With whatever you decide, I hope that you , your family, and the dogs have a good day.